Dating Tips: Work on The Similarities

Dating Tips: Work on The Similarities

Author: Rick Valens

What is it that makes you attracted to someone? The look? The character? The way he or she makes you laugh? Well, that is a few possibilities. Now let me ask you another question. What is it that you feel that makes a couple go on a date together, dates after dates? Think about it. Remember they have a choice of saying no to a date. Very simple, there is something of similar liking between the both of them, something which both enjoy doing together, over and over again.

Ask yourself this question, would you go on a date with someone whom doesn't enjoy dining, watching movies, coffee at caf頥tc. Not a thing at all of what you enjoy doing? For a couples to remain together, there has got to be something similar between both. Similar liking, interest, characteristic etc. The more the similarities there is between the both of you, the better the chances of a development of a further relationship there will be.

What are the similarities between both that you can work on? First of all, the physical appearance of course. Your physical appearance is the very first thing that catches a person's eyes, the eyes of that special someone. Take note of the type of dressing style he or she likes? How is he or she normally dressed? A trendy and hip? Casual and sporty? Smart casual? Try to dress so, dress in the style he or she would like. Think about it, if you were someone who is very concern with the neatness and cleanliness of your physical appearance, would you like someone who is always so shabbily dressed? Naturally, a person would tend to enjoy the company of another who generally dresses similar to that of him or herself. Don't you find it so within your usual group of click?

Next would be the hobbies and interest. What sports does he or she like? Does she play the piano? What type of movies does he or she enjoy watching? Does she love animals, dogs? Does he love fishing? What flowers does she like? Hmm? knowing his or her habits will be good too. Where does he or she normally hang out? Does she hate crowded places? How many cubes of sugar she like for her coffee? Does he hate shopping? Well in simple, find out anything possible under the sun about him or her. Not a clue where to start? Friends would be a good source to start with.

Ok guys, now that you know what she likes, it is time to plan for a little nice and enjoyable date with her. It is afterall still a guy's job to ask the girl out, right? Notice I used the word "enjoyable" instead of a nice and "romantic" date? Well, a date involves two persons. To allow the chance for a further development of a relationship, the chance for a next date, you have got to make her enjoy the date, enjoy the time spent with you.

Take her to places that she likes, serve her food that she enjoys eating. "Oh medium cooked for the lady please" Present her with flowers that she likes. She will be so surprised and impressed by you. "Oh Rick, how do you know that I love Pink Tulips? It's so sweet of you" Plan activities that she has always enjoyed. Watching a movie that she likes at her favorite cinema? Bringing her to her favorite musical, "Phantom of The Opera"? Ha as usual, me and my ideas again. Well, I know you can definitely plan for yourself a more perfect enjoyable date. In simple, create a familiar environment for her, a date that she will feel comfortable. Naturally, she will enjoy herself, enjoy going out with you, having your company, developing a further liking for you.

Rick Valens Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com/,Love Relationship Discussion Forum

Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org/, Monument of Eternal Memory

SOUL SHOCK - The real soulmate phenomenon

SOUL SHOCK - The real soulmate phenomenon

Author: Steve Gunn

SOUL SHOCK - by Steve Gunn

{ An excerpt from his new eBook about Soul Mates 'When Two Souls Connect' }'The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand.' -Robert Vallett

If you've met someone who's changed you forever

If you love someone so much you realize you just weren't alive before them

If you've met someone who's awakened you to the unbelievable beauty of existence

If you've met someone who is more you than even you are

If you miss someone so much you can't even conceive of existing without them

If you've lost someone and it feels like your soul left with them then read on?

Typical of many cases I deal with is the story of Fiona and Robert.

I first met Fiona when she booked a telephone reading and I realized she was suffering a great deal of pain and confusion from the recent breakup of her relationship with Robert. I recommended she seek healing and, a week later, she arrived at my door.I wish I had a cent for every tear that has been shed on that end of my sofa -- it's a wonder it isn't afloat by now. Seeing people in complete despair is a common occurrence for me but it never gets any easier watching someone fall apart, not least because I've been there. Some days, you just wonder what the human race is coming to when people can hurt others in the way this girl was hurting. However, she was here now and I was going to help her.

Her total devastation and confusion was apparent and, as I read both her energies and Robert's, I realized this was a very strong metaphysical ( soul mate ) connection, hence the level of suffering she was enduring. She told me her story, described what seemed an ideal relationship - until, in the midst of it, Robert had turned tail and run without warning. To add to her grief and despair, within a week he had hooked up with someone else and told her he wasn't coming back.

As in most of these cases, by tuning into him I knew he was in love with her. Fiona, however, was in no position to believe this, not based on his actions. It was totally clear to me, however, that the bond between them was strong and had grown ever stronger and stronger whilst they were together, to the point that it scared the hell out of Robert.How do you tell someone that a person they love has hurt them because they love them too much? How do you explain that the 'runner' fears the intensity of the connection? I could tell this other woman meant nothing to Robert and was just a shoulder for him to cry on. But, to Fiona, it seemed he had been a cheater and had callously lied about loving her. That's a very natural assumption when someone you trust totally turns a one eighty and goes off with someone else without warning.

For those of us who are emotionally and spiritually open to love on any level, the idea of someone running from happiness is bizarre and cruel in the extreme. Fiona was struggling to make sense of it and wasn't winning at all, which added to her immense grief.

As I began her healing and looked at what had happened to her energies, I realized she was suffering from what I call 'soul shock.' When someone you have a deep connection with suddenly pulls away, the dis-connect leaves you feeling as if your soul has left your body, like an empty shell. You just can't get back to reality and you can feel as if you simply exist.

This experience is similar to grieving the death of a loved one and I know many counselors, at least those who accept and understand connections, who will treat this pain in the same way as a bereavement.

What we're talking about here is not a conventional emotional relationship. A soul connection is the most powerful soul level connection with someone and when separations like this occur you just can't "get over it" or "move on" however hard you try. Many people can't eat sleep or work for a long time, a lot end up on medication and in counseling.

Even after more cases than I can remember, it never fails to amaze me how powerful healing is and what a perfect tool it can be for dealing with soul mate connections. I pulled Robert's energy away from Fiona's so that she wasn't being tugged around like a leaf in a gale by his confusion. This process forced out some of her grief.

Unexpressed emotions are debilitating and dangerous, so I opened up her heart chakra and used a technique I call 'accelerated bereavement.' This acceleration brings out the despair and pain in a burst of crying that's so deep you know it's from the soul. But, after twenty minutes or so, this incredible pain eases and the subject calms. That's exactly what happened with Fiona.

What is unique about soul connections is that we feel our partner's grief and confusion and they feel ours. This creates a tsunami of pain as the energy flows across our spiritual link and bounces each of us around like two corks on a string. Putting a block in a place eases 'soul shock' tremendously, so that's what I did to allow Fiona a chance to get on her feet again.

As the weeks and months went by, I saw her and treated her on a regular basis. Throughout that time, she grew slowly but progressively stronger, even as she continued to ache badly from the pain of separation from Robert. When you are separated from a soul mate, you miss your partner every minute of the day and most days are nothing more than a torture of aching and needing. The soul mate connection is unlike a conventional relationship for, in these cases, the pain of separation doesn't lessen. Some days it feels as if your heart will burst out of your chest and fly to your true partner.

Fiona experienced all of this and more, although with readings and healing I was able to reduce the worst of the excesses and keep up her hope that the situation would resolve itself and Robert would come back. At times, she would call in total pain and disbelief and ask how anything could hurt so much and why couldn't she just get over him? As always, I explained that a connection so strong was something we have little control over and, in time, he would return. While we wait, all we can do is stay strong and accept what has happened. Trying to understand why just adds to the torture.

In time, Robert did contact her. Fiona, however, found it very difficult to talk to him. He frequently contradicted himself and didn't seem to have a clue what he was doing, how he felt or what he wanted. This, of course, made it much harder for her to be in contact with the man she loved so much, as she still struggled to make sense of why he had run in the first place.

This is a very common albeit totally bizarre and bewildering phase that nearly always occurs in these relationships. While the more aware soul feels the immense sense of pain and loss, the 'runner,' who mostly has a ton of issues, is absolutely confused by the power of the connection and will seem to contradict themselves and not know quite what's going on. It's common to hear 'I love you,' then a week later, 'I don't love you,' and a host of other seemingly weird behaviors.

Understand, however, that this is your soul partner struggling to understand what's going on within them, as they are also totally overwhelmed by the feelings and confusion that the connection brings.

At this point, I asked Fiona to trust me and to follow some simple rules for communication. She agreed when she realized the present interaction was confusing her even more. I asked Fiona to set out what she wanted from Robert, make it clear to him, then to back away. To insist that, if and when he called, she didn't want to hear how bad his life was, especially after she had offered everything to make him happy. And that if he could not be there for her, then to put the phone down.

Staying strong in this phase takes an awful lot of guts and faith when your runner seems so close to returning. To push them away unless certain criteria are met is scary when you so fear losing them again. But Fiona did it? And, as in most cases, after a while it worked. It's said that runners return properly when the pain of separation is greater than the fear of commitment.

And by refusing to negotiate on anything other than coming together properly, Fiona made Robert realize he had to face this once and for all or lose her.

They met, they talked, she called me. Robert had accepted he couldn't go on as he had and he was prepared to face his fears and give it a go. Many more meetings occurred before Fiona was sure he was ready and knew that he would face his fear of commitment.

When finally they both came together again, and had put the past behind them, Fiona asked Robert to come to me for a reading and consultation. Seeing a runner is a rare opportunity for me, because when most reconciliations occur, my work is done.

Robert arrived and it was apparent he had no idea what to expect. I gave him a psychic reading and saw what was going on within him and how he had struggled to make sense of the past couple of years. What he said was a real eye opener for me, a rare chance to see how the incredible intensity of a soul connection can scare the daylights out of someone seemingly so strong and together.

He started talking about a time before Christmas when he realized just how deeply he felt for Fiona and, although he had always shunned commitment of any sort, he had decided to ask her to marry him. On his way to buy a ring, he talked to a friend about marriage and said he suddenly became very scared and unsure. He never did tell me what the friend said but whatever it was plugged deep into his fears. After that, instead of asking her to marry him, Robert told Fiona it was over and that he had found someone else.

If you're astounded reading this, so was I when I heard it. His thinking was that he couldn't go through with it and maybe he wasn't good enough for her.

What if he wasn't ready, what if it didn't work? All the other fear and insecurity-based questions rose up in him. His thinking was if she thought he had someone else, she could move on and not follow him.

When runners run, they really do run. Robert had demonstrated absolute mastery of the runner 180-degree speed turn. It was obvious that this man was unsure about himself - never mind what he could offer in a relationship. He made all his decisions from the head, not the heart. He mistakenly assumed Fiona could 'get over it.' It's one of the most frustrating things when runners make assumptions and don't give the other partner a chance. That's just what this one did.

However, now Robert was back and he was talking to me and that meant he wanted to understand what this was about and how he could deal with it. This was a terrific omen for the couple's future.

The outcome was that Robert did start to deal with his demons. His karmic lesson was to realize that he couldn't live life by purely mental decisions. He learnt that his heart wouldn't stay away and that fighting the connection only hurt them both and, ultimately, didn't work.

I now have an invitation to their wedding on my desk

Fiona and Robert's case is very typical and, to my mind, reinforces the same message - the heart always wins in the end.

For more information about WHEN TWO SOULS CONNECT, contact:Kick the Fish PublishingPhone: 941 627 6807Web sites: http://www.topukpsychic.com/wtsc and http://www.naturalenergytherapy.com Email: steve@topukpsychic.comSteve Gunn is an Internationally acclaimed psychic medium, healer and author...Steve Gunn is an Internationally acclaimed psychic medium, healer and author...

What Flowers for Your Girlfriend this Christmas?

What Flowers for Your Girlfriend this Christmas?


Author: Natalie Aranda


A girl loves flowers regardless of how many times she has received them. Flowers show how fresh and precious your love is. Flowers remind her how beautiful and elegant she is. Love shines and flourishes like flowers throughout the year when you give flowers to your girlfriend on different occasions with meanings and thoughts.



Honeysuckle is a good birthday gift to symbolizes happiness. Red roses are the best flowers for Valentine's Day. The relationship you have with your girlfriend may affect the color of roses you buy. Carnations in red show passion and pink tells your girlfriend that she is always on your mind. Gerber daisies and wildflowers are both great selections for a new relationship because they are beautiful and bright. Red roses are usually reserved for longer relationships where the couple is passionately in love. Pink roses are appropriate for a newer relationship. Any other color of rose is appropriate as well, especially if your girlfriend is passionate about a certain color.



Christmas is always a hectic time and finding the perfect Christmas gifts for your girlfriend can seem overwhelming in a sea of shopping malls. However, a thoughtful gift that will be appreciated is flowers. The best flowers to give at Christmas time are orchids, holly, poinsettias, and the Christmas cactus as well as any red flower. The orchid signifies thoughtfulness and charm. Holly and the Poinsettia are two Christmas related flowers that are always used for decorating and as a result are readily available and a great gift for your girlfriend. A Christmas cactus is also a good idea and is a flowering cactus that generally blooms around Christmas time, although it can bloom at any time of year.



Christmas brings happiness and joy to every family. For moms and dads, it's the Christmas trees that call their children back to home. For kids, it's the Christmas wreaths that hang on their doors to tell the worlds that they are growing bigger. For lovers, it's always Christmas flowers and Christmas flower arrangements to show the freshness, beauty and elegance of their feelings.


Occupation: Freelance Writer
Natalie Aranda is a freelance writer. She contributes to Ecommerce Guide and Gift Ideas for Wedding and Valentines.
http://www.4th-media.com/

The Venus Flower Basket - Symbol of Love

The Venus Flower Basket - Symbol of Love

Author: John Edwards

One of the most beautiful of all the creatures that live in the oceans is the rare and very seldom seen Venus flower basket. It only grows on the ocean floor at depths of three thousand to five thousand feet, in the warm tropical waters of the South Pacific, mostly around the Philippines and Japan.

This creature is actually a sponge; however it does not look anything like the sponges you use for cleaning in your home. It is extremely beautiful, intricate, and dainty. When full grown the Venus flower basket is tube shaped and about twelve inches long, usually with some slight curvature.

It looks like it is made up of an intricate fine lace expertly spun in glass fibers no thicker than human hair. It is woven in the form of a hollow tube shaped like a rams horn. The smaller, tapered end is anchored to the ocean floor by a multitude of fine glass-like fibers. The larger end has a lacey looking cap over it.

Because it looks like it is woven from glass it is sometimes called a glass sponge. Its scientific name is Euplectella Aspergillum.

When the Venus flower basket is small, tiny shrimp swim in and out of it. However, as the Venus Flower Basket grows it seals off the open upper end, and at the same time the shrimps grow so that they cannot swim through the side of the Venus flower basket. As this happens, a pair of shrimps, one male and one female, will stay inside the Venus flower basket and become trapped there. This pair of shrimps will spend the rest of their lives inside that Venus flower basket.

To the Japanese this is a symbol of eternal love and being happily married forever. A Venus flower basket is sometimes given as a wedding present in Japan because of this beautiful symbolism.

There is no such thing as divorce for these shrimp couples.

With divorce gaining epidemic portions in some countries, can we learn a lesson from these shrimp? God, the creator of all of us as well as these little shrimps, did not intend, nor does he want, marriages to end in divorce.

If these shrimps have a problem, somehow they work it out. They share their living space, food, and everything else with each other. Likewise we need to learn to work out the problems in our marriage and make them work. Learning how to share better and more often is a good start.

Spencer W. Kimball, one of the great religious leaders of our time, said that all divorce is the result of selfishness by one or both marriage partners. Shouldn't we start being less selfish and start serving more in our marriage and family? As we serve and unselfishly give within our homes, our love for our spouse and children will increase, team cooperation will increase, and problems will start being solved in a spirit of love and mutual trust.

Author: John EdwardsFind beautiful and fresh flowers and bridal bouquets which is guaranteed to put a smile on your recipient's face:http://www.flowershoppingcenter.com

Soulmate Connection

Soulmate Connection

Author: Robert Johannsen

We know there are magical signs once we meet our soulmates face to face. Expect it to be not ordinary. Imagine a fairy-tale coming alive. Most certainly, there would be sparks flying, butterflies in the stomach, stuttered sentences, ease of communication, physical attractions, love-at-first-sights, answered prayers, love remembered from dreams; in other words, a soulmate connection.

At first, the connection may be quite dream-like and a little too overwhelming until it turns into a vague familiarity. It may also be intense there may be no words to describe it perfectly. Details of soulmate connections can every so often overpower love itself. It's spirit-lifting. It's addictive. It's without doubt a "connection" between two hearts. It's beyond anything you have experienced.

Meeting your soulmate at this time and age is a rare gift, one who's interested needs to plumb the depths of all possibilities, if not, just wait for it to happen. But for some, waiting can be as dreadful as searching without finding the "right one". So might as well go for it and enjoy every second of your "finding your soulmate expedition". At least, you will not tell yourself you did not try.

Romance novels and studies on "finding your soulmate" have it all- the unbelievable peaks and lows people go through just to meet their soulmates. And their stories have all one thing to say- once they have met their soulmates, it was as if they have known and loved each other before. And they can't wait to spend their lives with each other forever.

With all these far-fetched concepts about soulmate connection, who then do you think wouldn't do anything for love? If it's that heavenly perfect, anyone will surely risk anything just to experience it. How about you? How far would you go for love?

It's every girl's dream for sure ? to meet her soulmate and experience a soulmate connection. Because if the feeling is euphoric, why not? If meeting your soulmate is all you think of and soulmate connection has captured your creative imagination and loving heart, it becomes hard-wired into your brain. It's all you're going to think of and focus on. The best thing about finding your soulmate is that you will love with a pure heart and with the cleanest intention to give your all to that one special person.

Robert Johannsen MA is a psychology and freelance author living in British Columbia. Robert's articles on Psychology, Relationships and Popular Culture have been published in numerous magazines in Canada, the US and the UK. His popular Ebook, Proven Secrets for Attracting your Soulmate has helped people from all walks of life find that special someone since 2000.

Visit his recently updated website, http://www.soulmate-secrets.com for a free chapter of his powerful book.

Honesty: The Key to a Good Relationship?

Honesty: The Key to a Good Relationship?

Author: Susan Dunn

"Honesty: The Key to a Good Relationship?by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ CoachA coaching client recently told me, "I'm convinced if two people are totally honest, they can be married." As a dating coach for midlifers, I hear from a lot of folks who are dating. I also stay current with the dating scene on the Internet, and read the profiles people write. Men often say that "honesty" is crucial for a relationship, while women rarely do. Let's take a look at this.

First I'm going to speculate as to why men say this andwomen don't, and then I want to talk about the place ofhonesty in a relationship.

As we know from research, and such books as "If Men CouldTalk: Unlocking the Secret Language of Men," (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0316178683/susandunnmome-20), by Alon Gratch, Ph.D., men, as a rule, have more trouble verbalizing emotions, something most of us would also agree is crucial to an intimate relationship. Not that we need to talk about emotions all the time, but that it's necessary to know what you feel and to be able to communicate it when necessary. It becomes particularly important when the relationship meets an impasse. You need to what the problemreally is. Are you picking on her about her outfit becauseyou haven't had sex in 4 days? Are you accusing him of ignoring you all the time, when really he does a fair job most of the time, but tonight you're hungry and tired?

According to Emotional Intelligence research, men and women test the same overall, but men, on average, are not as empathic as women (Reuven BarOn). Simon-Baron, Cambridge professor of psychology and psychiatry agrees. His thesis in "The Essential Difference: The Truth About the Male and Female Brain," (a http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0738208442/susandunnmome-20) is: "The female brain is predominantly hard-wired for empathy. The male brain is predominantly hard-wired for understanding and building systems."

Of course the "average" man, statistically speaking, is not necessarily the individual sitting in front of you. But where there's smoke there's fire.

So why the male emphasis on "honesty"? And are theyreferring to honesty about thoughts, feelings, facts, orwhat? If what we're being honest about is "the truth," howwe feel is indisputable, and many facts are, but the truthof any given situation is relative, most of us would agree,or our relationships would not become the imbroglios they do"

Mr. and Mrs. Smith does a great job or portraying marriage, and beings with him saying they've been married 5 years, and her saying "6". If there's an absolute truth ("reality"), it's of little use in human relations.

Men engage more in what's called "selective remembering."He remembers the games he won, not the games he lost. He remembers when to change the oil in the car, but not his girl-friend's birthday. Selective listening may be part of it. He hears that the prime rate has gone down, but not that you'd like more time with him. I couldn't help wonder if this client would hear "honesty" if it were given.

"Honesty", I think, is a systems-word. Women, in their profiles, are more likely to focus on behaviors. "Nophilanderers," they say, and "no addicts." You see thedifference . if he's unfaithful and honest about it ,they're still not interested. Doh.

Women use language to connect, and are more hard-wired for emotion. They enjoy experiencing it and talking about it, while men consider emotions a call to discharge by action. They are not as likely to use a verbal strategy to deal with a feeling.

Women have a larger corpus callosum, so it's easier for usto talk about emotions. TALKING about a FEELING is multi-tasking, and one of the hardest things we ask our brains to do.Women also say thousands more words a day than men do. Testosterone causes silence. Men talk about facts and wantclarity and brevity. Women also, according to ReuvenBar-on, have a greater sense of social responsibility. Does this preclude honesty? When we meet for lunch, we greet each other as Nancy, and Kelly, and Meg. Men? Fatso, and Stupid and Loser. Are men being more "honest"? If so, are they being less socially responsible, i.e., not caring if they hurt the other guy's feelings? I can't imagine a man's feelings being hurt by that, yet no woman would greet another woman with Big Butt, Drama Queen, or Boobless Wonder, though they might think it.

Would being 100% honest insure the survival of arelationship? No. The person might be "honest" about thefact that they could not live with you any more and werefiling for divorce. Do men say this because they'reattempting to systemize, with rules? Or because they'vefound women to be "dishonest"?

I've heard more than one man say, "I don't know why she left me. I thought we had a perfect marriage. (Women divorce men more often than vice versa.) Variations include, "She was deceptive. I didn't know anything was wrong," and "She told me why she was leaving, but it doesn't make any sense." A plea for "honesty" might be a plea for comprehensibility.

A female client told me she told her man, "I love but, you I don't like you right now." He said she was being dishonest, "because you can't be both at once". It didn't fit his system or either/or. Honesty, I think, or the reporting of it, requires clear, logical thinking. Who's clear and logical when fighting with a lover? Or listening to one?

If you're a man, are you listening, as in hearing? Thismeans hearing the feelings, not assessing the facts. Ifyou're a woman, are you being clear? Women tend to knowsooner when a relationship is headed for trouble and attemptto address it. If you're a man, are you hearing this as"being told what to do"?

I think this plea from men for honesty is a wish to be ableto understand the woman they love (and themselves in the relationship). They want facts and clarity. However, to understand others, you must first understand yourself, and this means feelings. Honesty, alas, begins at home.

As a concept that I believe is both unachievable and potentially destructive, I tend to agree with Graham Greene: "The truth has never been of any real value to any human being - it is a symbol for mathematicians and philosophers to pursue. In human relations, kindness and lies are worth a thousands truths." It is nearly impossible for me to outright lie, about either a fact or a feeling, but I will at times do what the Arabs propose: "It is good to know the truth, but it is better to speak of palm trees." Discretion is the better part of valor.

There's something else to consider about being honest:Whether it's true or not, it's true. As John Lilly said,"In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true."

Now, what about total honesty between two people?Kindness may be of more value. Honesty should not be usedas the weapon it can be. One of the cruelest things we cando is to use an intimate revelation against the person whosaid it. We know how to hurt the people we love. It's partof our obligation as a decent human beings not to do this. "Better a lie that heals than a truth that wounds," say the Czechs.

Should you be honest about your feelings? Yes . but. Let's say he wants sex and you don't. It's one thing to say, "I don't feel like it now. I had a terrible day at work," and even possible to say, "Not until you've taken a shower and put on some deodorant." But to say, "No, you're the worst lover I've ever had, and like you were saying about your ex-wife the other night ." That sort of "honesty" is inexcusable, and, if not true, soon will be.

There's no easy solution to this. I researched the world's proverbs on this subject we all struggle with. Most were in the vein of "Whoever tells the truth is chased out of nine villages." (African). The Corsicans stood out: "He who tells the truth will never be unhappy," they say. Maybe the answer lies in the Arab proverb: "When you shoot an arrow of truth, dip its point in honey."

An intimate relationship isn't a system, it's a dance, andthe music is emotions. Developing your EQ is essential, soyou can learn to know, manage and express your emotionsbetter, and to practice the competency of forgiveness, which will always be needed.

Sometimes the most honest thing you can say is, "I don'tknow what to say now," and the most helpful thing you cansay is, "I love you." And keep in mind, to paraphraseThomas Leonard, we're all doing our very best, even when clearly we're not.

Not what are you going to say, honestly, to your lovedone when she says, "Does my butt look fat in these pants?"and when he says, "Am I a good lover?" You can alwaysgot to a feeing, and here are some:I feel uncomfortable when you ask me that.I'm wondering why you ask.I love you.Let's talk about what you're really wanting to know.

?Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success. We coach and train EQ coaches internationally. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program, arranged to fit your schedule. Coaching is the ideal profession. Email for FREE EQ ezine.

Occupation: Webmaster

Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success. We coach and train EQ coaches internationally. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program, arranged to fit your schedule. Coaching is the ideal profession. Email for FREE EQ ezine.

Contact him at http://www.susandunn.cc
http://www.susandunn.cc

Zodiac Signs and Horoscopes: Who am I compatible with?

Zodiac Signs and Horoscopes: Who am I compatible with?

Author: John Kim

Love and compatibility with another is something that we all strive for. It is something that is talked about in every social circle and in every walk of life. This notion of love and compatibility is always a hot topic when discussing your "sign" with someone. One of the main reasons for a person to read their horoscope is to find out about their past, present and future love life. So it's only natural for us to wonder which zodiac signs are compatible with one another. So who are you compatible with?

Aries ? is most compatible with Leo & Sagittarius, compatible with Aquarius & Gemini and opposite from Libra.

Taurus ? is most compatible with Capricorn & Virgo, compatible with Cancer & Pisces and opposite from Scorpio.

Gemini ? is most compatible with Aquarius & Libra, compatible with Aries & Leo and opposite from Sagittarius

Cancer ? is most compatible with Pisces & Scorpio, compatible with Taurus & Virgo and opposite from Capricorn

Leo ? is most compatible with Aries & Sagittarius, compatible with Gemini & Libra and opposite from Aquarius

Virgo ? is most compatible with Capricorn & Taurus, compatible with Cancer & Scorpio and opposite from Pisces

Libra ? is most compatible with Aquarius and Gemini, compatible with Leo & Sagittarius and opposite from Aries

Scorpio ? is most compatible with Cancer & Pisces, compatible with Capricorn & Virgo and opposite from Taurus

Sagittarius ? is most compatible with Aries & Leo, compatible with Aquarius & Libra and opposite from Gemini

Capricorn ? is most compatible with Taurus & Virgo, compatible with Pisces & Scorpio and opposite from Cancer

Aquarius ? is most compatible with Gemini & Libra, compatible with Aries & Sagittarius and opposite from Leo

Pisces ? is most compatible with Cancer & Scorpio, compatible with Capricorn & Taurus and opposite from Virgo

(please note that this is only a suggestion as to the traditional compatibility traits of certain 'signs'. This should not be followed as a make or break rule to follow in your love life as there are many factors that come into play when in a true relationship. These suggestions should be taken as such, as mere suggestions.)All of your horoscope and zodiac information in one place at http://www.horoscopehaven.comHoroscopeZodiac Signs

How to Tell Your Partner You Love Them

How to Tell Your Partner You Love Them

Author: Trent Brownrigg

Remember the words from an old song... "
Be sure it's true when you say I love you, it's a sin to tell a lie".

The concept of "sin" has lost its meaning for many in our modern era, and even "love" has lost a significant portion of its importance.

If you still believe in "falling in love" then you will realize how difficult it is to say, "I love you" in a meaningful way. Three little words that can change your life forever. The words, themselves, have lost their meaning because of overuse, especially when it's not really true. Everybody says them, for many different reasons, even if they don't mean them.

However, when you really want tell your partner of your love it's such a hard decision to make for many reasons. Will your partner return your love? Will your partner simply accept your declaration with indifference? Will he or she feel threatened? It is such a common problem that even "The Seinfeld Show" had an episode on it.

So make it easy on yourself and plan the declaration so that as much as possible you eliminate the problems. The first step, of course, is to be certain you really are in love. If you so enjoy being with your partner that you want to be with him or her to the exclusion of all others, if you think of him or her every day when you are apart, you are probably in love. If you have even a small doubt you should wait a little longer.


If you are certain then plan a special occasion for it. Make it a significant moment in your life - one to remember with fondness for your whole life. Arrange an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant and make it as romantic as you can. Give him or her a small gift because you love being with them, or you are so glad that you met them.

After dinner while holding your partner intimately gaze intently into their eyes and say, "I love you so much it hurts when we are apart. I hope that we can stay together forever". Do not be disappointed if your partner does not return your declaration. They may not yet be ready and might need more time to state their feelings. Continue to share with your partner the highs and lows of your partner's life. Care for your partner's happiness and be on guard to protect his happiness.

Under no circumstances should you ever ask your partner, "Do you love me"?

About The Author:
Are you so in love you could die right now and be truly happy? Do you have a special someone you want to share you feelings with? Find a Love Poemthat expresses how you feel at http://sweet-love-poems.com

Love Messages

Love Messages

Author: CD Mohatta

Love, the very word brings forth feelings of warmth. Love, a relationship, which makes us whole. A companion with whom we share all our emotions, our life, our thoughts, our body, our everything. That is love and lucky are those who fall in love. Love is as fresh as these waves and as passionate as these waterfalls. The purest form of love is as enchanting as anything that is beautiful in nature. Let us now talk about love messages.

During the initial phase of love, there is a tremendous passion and a desire to keep on sharing everything. Keep on telling about how one loves their beloved in so many different ways. In this phase, lovers speak of flowers, stars, moon, and so many other objects that one can find to define love.

All of us have our own style of sending love messages. Some write their own poems. Some send small notes. Some send very long letters and some search for poems that can reflect their emotions. Searching for gifts, and sending messages, meeting, enjoying life together, and so many other such activities mark the initial phase of love. Love is indeed mysterious because you will find poems being written by those about whom you had never suspected this. Your most ordinary looking practical gardener will develop dreamy eyes and start sending love notes after falling in love! PG Wodehouse wrote about this in most of his stories with great fun and understanding.

The best part of love messages arrives after many years. Show a lover what he/she did many years ago and they will themselves not believe that they wrote all that gibberish. That is love.

CD Mohatta writes on living, motivation, love, values etc. He is a content writer for egreetings and screensavers in Popular Screensavers, Crazy In Love Ecards and Thinking Of You Ecards.
This article is free for republishing

Occupation: content writer

CD Mohatta writes content for eCards, Screensavers and wallpapers for many websites. He is now focussing on promotion of http://www.wishafriend.com

How To Focus On The Positive Qualities Of Your Relationship

How To Focus On The Positive Qualities Of Your Relationship

Author: Sonia Devine


The quality of your life has a strong connection with how healthy your relationship with other people is. Do you struggle to make other people see things your way? Well stop trying, because you can't manipulate others. Why? Well, just like you, they are operating from their own map of the world. What you CAN do is develop a habit of paying attention to the positive aspects of your relationship.

If you are distressed by your relationships, then you need to change the way in which you react to the behaviour of others. If you hold a belief that you will only be happy when the other person changes, it's time to get real, because:

*** The Buck Stops With You. ***

Think about someone in your life; Are you paying attention to the qualities you think that person is lacking? For example, maybe you think: "If only he was tidier, more attentive to me, more loving, etc?"? Whatever you put your attention on expands. If you only notice the things that annoy you about others, or if you focus on what you think they are not doing right, then you will only experience more of the behaviour that you are trying to avoid!

Try this exercise:

Think about this specific person, and write down the qualities you admire in them. Take the time to remember what drew you to them in the first place. Maybe they are great at making you laugh?they could be a good listener, or have a talent for organising things and events. Whatever you like about this person, write it onto a list! And then look at this list every day.

By doing this, you shift your subconscious attention onto the positive aspects of the relationship and you will start to experience even more of these qualities that you like! Your relationship will improve and the other person will start to become more loving, open and receptive towards you as well.

What About Those Things You Don't Like?

Okay, then. What really annoys you about others? Do you get upset by arrogant people? Or maybe people who cannot be assertive really make your blood boil. Whatever it is that bothers you, you must understand this:

We criticize in others the very qualities that we dislike most about ourselves

We are all connected to a Universal consciousness. When you look at another person, you are also looking at a version of yourself. Learn to see yourself in the reflection of others, and you will become more tolerant of what you see as their negative qualities. And remember, other people, are always a mirror to you.

If you want a great relationship, you need to pay attention to the way you react to people. And most importantly, treat others as you would like to be treated. You have the ability to create a happy, fulfilling relationship, and if you learn to see yourself in others, you will find yourself becoming more and more open to experiencing the good qualities those people.


------

Sonia Devine is a qualified professional hypnotherapist and success coach with a caring and committed approach to healing, who lives in Melbourne, Australia. You can find more of her information on ego, self image, love, relationships, phobias and much more on her websitehttp://www.manifest-your-success.com

Here Comes the Sun (Signs) - Romance, Astrology and You

Here Comes the Sun (Signs) - Romance, Astrology and You

Author: Heidi Richards

"Your sun sign can tell a lot about you as a lover. It can help you explore how you approach your romantic love interests."

Heidi Richards Is it easy for you to get close to someone or do you take your time in developing meaningful relationships? What does your partner bring to your relationship that either helps it blossom or keeps it from going anywhere? Are you finding love elusive or does it come easy? How do you relate to those you are romantically attracted to? What kind of relationship are you looking for? What kind of partner are you seeking? While reading about your sun sign is not the entire answer to the age-old challenge of finding the right partner, it can be a start. Your sun-sign is only one aspect of your persona, what makes you, you. Your Rising and Moon also determine the life you were born to lead. Romance, Astrology and You will shed some light on sun signs and romance. Beyond that, you may wish to you seek professionals who can prepare your chart and give you a more in-depth personality/life reading.

The signs are divided into the four elements which represent them. They are the elements of Fire, Earth, Air and Water. This first page covers the Fire signs - Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. The Earth signs - Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are on the next page, Air signs - Gemini, Libra and Aquarius, the next and the last page is dedicated to the Water signs ? Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.

Fire Signs

Fire signs represent enthusiasm and energy. The hallmark of fire is inspiration. With a joy for life, they can be ardent, forceful and have a tendency to be extremely impulsive.

ARIES - (March 22 - April 20). Aries is ruled by Mars, and its symbol is the Ram. Aries is a Fire sign, impulsive and energetic. You are bold and impatient, easily infatuated, and often lose interest if boredom sets in. You tend toward impulsive rather than cautious when it comes to matters of the heart, making your interest known (sometimes too quickly), and you tend to be very direct ? shy is not a word to describe the impetuous Aries. You quickly bounce back from rejection, although it isn't something you are use to, as you like to get your way. Quips and quarrels are often seen as foreplay with the direct Aries. You like the conquest in romance and can play "hard-to-get". You find it stimulating when the object of your affection plays the same game. However, in the long run you love to let yourself be caught, to be "swept away" with desire. You gravitate toward the confident, rather than those who appear needier. Aries loves to be caressed and told that you are the best.

LEO - (July 23 ? August 22) Leo is ruled by the Sun and its symbol is the lion. As a Fire sign, Leo's world revolves around the principles of identity and drama. You love to be the center of your partner's adoration and attention. You tend to be flamboyant and melodramatic when it comes to matters of the heart. You crave attention and find ways to announce that you have arrived, whether it be with a look, the way you "waltz" into a room, the way you toss your head or even the way you walk up to someone and give them a gentle touch. You are a true romantic and have been known to write a poem or two. You have style, are generous and love to "surprise" the object of your affection with flowers and candy. In fact, surprises are second nature to you. You often sport an aristocratic air, even if you weren't born into nobility. You love to be adored and admired and taking the lead in romance gives you a sense of power. You expect to be respected, and will act worthy of respect with one you desire. You know how to turn on the charm and raise the heat in a relationship. Leos love to be touched and admired.

SAGITTARIUS - (November 22 ? December 21) Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter and is symbolized by the archer. This Fire sign is connected with the identity. You crave variety, new ideas, and new experiences. In fact, you can be a little "excessive," which means you can over-do things a bit - or a lot. You love to explore new places, people and foods. Change is something you simply cannot live without. Routine is not a word that sits well with you and anyone romantically interested in the archer better be ready for adventure. You are a truth seeker, love to learn and your interests are eclectic and varied. You tend to embellish things a bit (almost to the point of exaggeration) especially when it comes someone who might be attracted to you. You want them to find you as interesting as you find life itself. You love your "space" and freedom and want your partner to feel the same. You find independence in others as sexy as it is second nature to you. Playful dates are a real turn-on for someone seeking a good-time. When it comes to love-interests, you want to be "friends first". Honesty is paramount to you and you expect it from those in your life, especially your mate. You can be philosophical one moment and class clown the next. You are very jovial and will seek a partner who makes you laugh. When it comes to spirituality, you consider yourself a guide along the long and winding road to self-discovery. And when in the learning mode, the Sagittarius will be a "seeker" or student to those who can teach or inspire you. Sagittarians are as turned-on by a stimulating conversation as they are by sensual exploration.


Earth signs are physical and have to do with primarily material affairs. They are natural and their feet tend to be firmly planted on the ground, "earthy" types. The hallmark of earth signs is practicality.

TAURUS - (April 21 ? May 21) Taurus is ruled by Venus and its symbol is the bull. Taurus is an Earth sign which is connected with fruitfulness and stability. You love luxury and sensual comforts such as silky satin sheets, robes fit for a king or queen and beautiful surroundings. You seek comfort, security and beauty. A perfect romance to you is one that is harmonious and beautiful, even if a bit materialistic. Because of your fondness for pretty things, you will proudly display your possessions and purchasing power. You are easygoing, calm, and comfortable to be around. You enjoy sharing "quiet times" with your love interest and also get excited about everyday activities such as shopping and cooking and dining. You tend to be stubborn and will do whatever you can to get what you want. When it comes to showering affection on the object of your desire, you enjoy physical contact. You have a very sensual nature and appreciate the pleasures of food, art, music, perfumes, fondling, or sex. Because you appreciate nature; a walk in the woods, hiking and rock-climbing may be considered exciting dates. You also love sunsets camping, gardening and simply being outdoors and can be attracted to those who are equally down-to-earth and outdoorsy. As long as your partner or mate displays the qualities of loyalty and honesty qualities which you likely possess, they will have your undying loyalty and a relationship destined to endure.

VIRGO - (August 23 - September 22) Virgo is ruled by Mercury and is symbolized by the Virgin. As an Earth sign, Virgo is connected with material things and practicality. The ultimate organizer, you gravitate toward anything that puts your analytical mind to use. To the outside world you may appear reserved and tend to hold back your emotions, when it comes to love, it's no holds barred for the loving Virgo. You display great attention to detail which can be considered good fortune or a curse when it comes to relationships. You are good at remembering your partner's desires (even those that were only mentioned in passing) and love to cater to those desires. To you, organizing the object of your affections is considered "flirting." Your favorite role is to be of help and service to friends and partners. You are witty, perceptive and logical. Your reasoning powers help you to resolve conflicts easily and quickly taking your romance to new depths. You need a partner who will help you loosen your cautious shy nature. You are a good listener and communicator, an important aspect in romance. You love to "fuss" over your partner and can sometimes be seen as critical. Your partner should know though, that if you were not interested, you would not work so hard to help your love interest be "all he or she can be." Good health is of great concern to you and you work hard to take care of yourself. You aim to please and when it comes to love you fall hard. Virgos are most attracted to those who keep themselves physically fit.

Capricorn ? (December 22 - January 20) Capricorn is ruled by Saturn and is symbolized by the sea goat. As an Earth sign, Capricorn is motivated, determined and sets practical goals. Taking unnecessary risks is not your "thing," even in the area of romance. You are ambitious and responsible. You will, however do "whatever it takes" to get what you want. Social status, reputation, position, and career are important to you. You use these to impress and attract the object of your desires. When it comes to love, no silly games for you, you prefer a more mature approach to courtship. Glamour and dazzle are more your style ? so an evening that starts out in a limousine would be perfect. You are supportive and dependable, good qualities in any relationship. Security, a good home, and the finer things in life are what you strive for. You do not shy away from commitment, as long as it is with the right person ? in fact you "play for keeps" and will be forever faithful. Some might consider you a loner, but do not be fooled by the aloof Capricorn. You are longing for a deep, meaningful relationship with just the right partner. Capricorns can be as powerful in the bedroom as they are in the boardroom, so lovers beware. You are seen by your peers as a "winner" and often attract the same. When it comes to romantic adventures, you are both practical and romantic so a perfect getaway for you could include both work and play.

Air signs have a great deal to do with relationships and intellect and are gatherer knowledge using their intuition and the head. They are known for getting what they desire and achieving their goals. Their hallmark is making a difference in the world, whether it be in their own circle of influence or something much larger.

Gemini - (May 22 ? June 21) Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury and is symbolized by the Twins. An Air sign, Gemini is connected with communication. You have a way with words. You're good at flirting and teasing, and can be a real sweet talker. Because of your "twins" influence you are clever at adapting your style to suit the seduction. You can be witty and clever and easily are attracted to good conversationalists. You love the power of suggestion and using double entendres. In fact, you use them proficiently when you are flirting with others, whether they be romantic interests or just passing fancies. You adapt easily to most situations and love to share stores of people, places and experiences, which you skillfully use to arouse the interest of one you desire. Because you are so tuned into communicating, you can see both sides of a situation. You know there are always at least three sides to every conflict. The sides of each party involved and the truth; which you have a knack for discovering. You can be a prolific writer. Love letters, poetry and notes are easily used to seduce the object of your affection. And mind games are beyond your realm of romantic antics. Internet chat rooms and forums stir your interest. Who knows, you may even find your future mate online. You have been known to give "good phone," and enjoy long conversations that revolve around romance and sexual innuendos. Flirting is second nature to you and you are almost shameless when it comes to practicing your flirting style. Because of their sometimes short attention span, Gemini lovers are more likely stay around if they feel mentally stimulated.

Libra - Romantic. (September 23 ? October 23) Libra is ruled by Venus. An Air sign, Libra is connected with social relationships and its symbol are the scales. Known as a diplomat to those closest to you, you have an incredible sense of objectivity and seek harmony and balance in relationships and life. Happiest when you are in love, you can be sweet and sensitive. You love talking about things relating to love and romance such as novels, movies or songs. It is your way of flirting with the object of your desires. You are a charming, gracious and considerate lover and can adapt your style to attract the one you desire. In fact, you like to be partners in most aspects of life and will find ways of including those you love and admire in your plans, whether it be at work, home or play. Although crowds of people don't seem to bother you, you prefer spending time with your love interest alone rather than in a group setting. You may start out at a big gala affair, but will look for an appropriate time to get away so the two of you can spend time alone together. You are a thoughtful partner and lover and give your full attention to your mate. Giving your undivided attention is your way of flirting. You have a keen interest in others and can lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. You love courting and or being courted by the object of your affection. Hearts and flowers go a long way in the romance arena of your life. Librans do not like to be manipulated, fair play is an absolute must.

Aquarius - (January 21 ? February 21) Aquarius is ruled by Uranus. An Air sign, Aquarius is very social, and is symbolized by the water bearer. An inventor at heart, you can be seen by others as a little "quirky," often gravitating toward the future and progress of humankind. You are considered a visionary and open-minded looking for less conventional ways of being and doing than the other signs. You don't generally break down under peer pressure; you prefer to be different from others. You are highly liked and surrounded by friends because you know how to be one. A humanitarian, you long for social reform and prefer those who share your thoughts on life over those who easily conform to societal pressures. You tend to be more attracted to the outrageous than one who looks and act like everyone else. You are sometimes thought of as a "rebel with a cause" and will be attracted to a partner who you shares your desire to change the world. You are a free spirit who needs his or her own space, but don't mind sharing that space with the object of your affection, as long as you don't get pushed into a corner. You enjoy sharing your vision of the future with the one you desire and consider it your way of flirting. Sometimes you appear aloof or unemotional, which can be a turn-off for some. Not to worry, the right person will find it attractive and be curious to know what lies beneath that detached exterior. It seems an odd way to "flirt", but it can be attractive to those who are curious and have a similar demeanor. It is the game of "intrigue" that can often turn someone on and make them want to know more. The Aquarius is a creative and imaginative in lover and will often seduce the object of their desire in unusual ways (and places).


Water signs are reflective, responsive and whose nature is toward abundance, sometimes excess. Their hallmark is their emotional, expressive nature.

Cancer ?Caring - (June 22 ? July 22) Cancer is ruled by the Moon and its symbol is the crab. It is a Water sign, and as such is connected to the world of emotion and the instincts. People react in a positive way to your sensitive intuitive nature. If it's a love interest you are after, you instinctively know how to get the attention you desire. Because you are a good friend and confidante, people have a tendency to confess their sins to you. When it comes to flirting you prefer a more demure or reserved approach to one that is overt. You are a caring, nurturing lover and enjoy cuddling and hand-holding. You may seduce the object of your desire with a home-cooked meal of fare that is fit for a king or queen. You tend to fuss over the object of your affections, a clear indication that you are interested in pursuing the relationship further. Pampering and affection are your signatures in romance. You are also very protective of your love interests (all relationships for that matter) and will go to the ends of the earth to make those in your life feel safe and secure. Family is important to you and you enjoy sharing family traditions as well as starting those of your own creation. For you, home is where the heart is. A Cancerean in full courtship mode will invite their love interest to meet the family. You make those you love feel like the center of the universe.

Scorpio - (October 24 ? November 21) Scorpio is ruled by the planet Mars and is symbolized by the scorpion. As a Water sign it is connected with the world of emotions. You can be intently focused, even absorbed on the object of your desire. You are send by others as sultry, emotional and even a "dangerous". Your passionate nature can smolder for days, weeks and even months and then it all of the sudden erupts into a volcanic fire that is almost impossible to contain. You have a sexy animal magnetism" that can subtly seduces the object of your desires. There is a mesmerizing way about you; when you look into the eyes of your love it is as though you are looking deep into their soul. You are a born detective and will go to almost any lengths to find out about someone to whom you have an interest in. You are intense and emotionally perceptive. When hurt, you don't mend easily and don't forgive quickly (if ever). You know how to channel your energy and power into exploring your lover's sexuality. You are intuitive and inquisitive; there are no secrets you won't discover. However, your nature is such that you may keep a few secrets of your own. Ever resourceful and self-confident, you know what's best for you and think you know what's best for others. Sex with a Scorpio is anything but subtle, it is full of energy, daring and can even involve some risk taking. You are looking for a fearless lover, one willing to create a romance that will unleash your passions.

Pisces - (February 22 ? March 21) Pisces is ruled by the planet Neptune , and its symbol is two fish bound together. Pisces is a water sign, emotional and compassionate. You have an air of mystery and love a good secret. You love affairs of the heart and could become involved in a love tryst or steamy affair. You can be shy or coy, and your sensitive side and air of vulnerability can and will often work to your advantage to attract the object of your desires. You love romance and fantasy and sometimes have a hard time separating the two. You are able to share your deepest feelings with the one you love and often connect on a soul level. It is said the eyes are the window to the soul and you often find yourself flirting with your eyes. Pisces men are often seen as gallant (opening doors, and offering a hand) and both sexes can be self-sacrificing often putting the needs of their lover ahead of their own. You tend to daydream and often have your head in the clouds. You would rather go with the flow than ruffle feathers. You love to serve your lover and shower him or her with delightful fantasies. You have a spiritual nature, and are very creative. When it comes to romance, you can be unpredictable and truly enjoy the game of love, although you will pursue the object of your affection with slow, careful intent.

About the author:
http://www.HeidiRichards.com

8 Keys to Lasting Love

Author: Dr. Linda Miles

By Dr. Linda MilesMy granddaughter, Merritt Miles, at five years old, was the inspiration for, 8 Keys to Lasting Love. While reading her a fairy tale I was very disturbed by what I was about to say to her when I read; "And they lived happily ever after."

So, I took the liberty of changing the ending to, "They began the work of creating a very good marriage." I didn't want Merritt thinking, as so many of my clients had, that marriage was so simple, that it just magically happened and couples lived happily every after.

As a marriage and family therapist for thirty years, I have seen the pain people experience after the honeymoon is over, when they awaken realizing they have married a mere mortal. I hope my granddaughter, as she enters adulthood, will avoid the pitfalls and pain of those who succumb to this "happily ever after" myth.

Stop blaming. Start living. It is our responsibility, and not our partner's, to feel better and to heal. Our partner will be responsible to us, but not for us. So it's useful, instead of blaming our partner, to ask ourselves these two questions, "Why did I draw this person into my life?” and “What is it that I need to learn from this?” Within a good marriage, we grow up.

Avoid the fixer-upper syndrome. We think we can fix our partner and shape them into perfection. Our version of perfection. So many people marry for potential. Never marry potential. Marry for safety, the safety between two people who accept one another faults and all. Make a promise to keep our integrity. Do not hold onto victim hood like a prize. This doesn't allow us to grow. Work on behaviors that make our partner want to change by being kind and loving. Vent our feelings, without being out of control. If we are in a relationship that does not have mutual respect, over time we may need professional help. Preferably, we would seek that help with our partner.

Eliminate attack thoughts. These types of thoughts are incredibly destructive over time. If we attack other people, ourselves and our thoughts, it really interferes with our happiness and peace of mind. Learn to find the joy, even in difficult times. As Mother Theresa once said, "Our best protection is a joyful heart."

Do not hold onto anger. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Turn attack thoughts into constructive thoughts and actions. Think thoughts that are appreciative of ourselves and our partner. And express those thoughts often. When we build an emotional bank account full of positive thoughts, we have positive emotional currency to counter with when angry times come.

Wake up, without makeup. On soap operas I’ve seen women wake up first thing in the morning with all their makeup on, false eyelashes and all. That is not the real world. What we need to do for a successful marriage is to learn to be more and more real. What we need to do for a successful marriage is learn to feel more and more safe to be who we truly are. Wake up and make up. It is essential that couples learn to repair and heal after every fight. Find solutions. Do not get stuck rehashing the past. Live in the present, and find ways to keep the marriage buoyant and alive. Happy couples learn how to repair differences.

To change our relationship, the place to start is with changing ourselves first. Better to reinvent ourselves, because we are not going to be able to change our partner. Learn to love in a mature way without trying to control or manipulate. C.S. Lewis once said, "To love without control or manipulation is to be surprised by joy." We will truly be surprised by joy when we can live in the moment with our partner. And within ourselves. Copyright 2005 Linda Miles Ph.D

Author, Dr. Linda Miles, is deeply committed to helping individuals and couples achieve rewarding relationships. She is an expert witha doctorate in Counseling Psychology, and hasworked in the mental health field for over thirty years. She has been interviewed extensively on radio, TV, and in magazines. Find more relationship ideas and relaxation techniques on her web site and in the award-winning book she co-authored, The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth, and Train Your Brain: For Successful Relationships, CD. http://www.drlindamiles.com

How to Talk to a Woman

How to Talk to a Woman

Author: Caterina Christakos

Taking a girl out on a date already says a lot. But this whole business is not just about seducing someone. You must gain the confidence and trust of the person sitting at the other end of the table. More than that, you must make her feel good in your presence and even want more. How to do this? Simple! When you're not flirting with her just let her take control for a while.

Always keep in mind that women's favorite subject is themselves. This little "bug" in their software gives men a big advantage in a conversation and that is curiosity. Yet, only few use it because of the misconceptions surrounding curiosity in general. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but when a conversation between a man and a woman is concerned, I don't think it ever hurt anyone. What I'm trying to say is that if she says something that makes you curious... just ask her! This will tell her that you are interested in her person. Nevertheless, watch out for those not so discreet questions that could turn you into a cat and get you killed.

Another thing most men forget is that women, even the prettiest, disregard themselves. If you discovered something about her that you really like make sure she can feel your admiration. This rule applies to anything from the color of her eyes to the way she back-parked her car for example. Still, try to use original ways to make compliments and remember that you'll receive the most "points" for cherishing her intelligence.

Always listen to her when she talks! Sounds too obvious? Maybe, but the key thing is that it counts less if you've been really listening to her as long as she thinks you weren't. Therefore you can use several tricks like saying confirmation phrases ("I see", "yes" etc.) showing that you're following her. Just don't do it so much that she mistakes you for her shrink. Re-telling what she just said is another useful skill as long as you don't abuse it. You simply rephrase what she said and she'll know you got the point. Nevertheless it can be very annoying if you overuse it.

And, as I mentioned earlier, when she makes you curious about something just ask her! This proves you were listening in the first place. The same happens when you make a compliment based on something she just said.

But curiosity can also be used whenever you run out of topics in a conversation. Every woman is curious by nature so all you have to do is to stir her curiosity and forget all about you running out of interesting subjects or her getting bored.

About The Author:

Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach.Learn more of what to do and what not to do with women. Go to:http://www.powerdatingexplosion.com

Surprise Your Love

Surprise Your Love

Author: Rick Valens

Has dating unknowingly become just a habit to you? Becoming not as fun and exciting as before, as when the both of you just started going out together? Well, I am not suggesting that there is any problem in your relationship. In fact this is something very common. Along time, as a couple get to know and understand each other better, they naturally enter into a comfort zone with one another. It is within this comfort zone that they begin to share with one another more of their own personal life, building a mutual trust and a stronger bond in the relationship. However, it is also at this time when all the surprises and excitements somehow get lesser and lesser during their dates. Both have got so comfortable with one another that there is basically not the need for them to impress one another as during their initial dates anymore. Sadly, dating has become more of like a routine and habit to them.

To most guys routine dates are actually ok but again, things might not usually be the case for the girls. Hmm? maybe before I go on, just a piece of advice for the guys. Well guys, though the girls might not be complaining but believe me, deep down inside them they are still longing for that surprises. Let us not disappoint them, shall we? And well girls, please do understand that guys are afterall still guys. They are just naturally less insensitive creature, just not that good in expressing themselves. But that doesn't mean that they don't care about you?

Well nevertheless, I believe everyone love surprises and excitement. Life would be so boring without them, don't you agree? There would be nothing to look forward to. The same goes for love. Recall all those sweet moments you had when the both of you just started dating. Wasn't love or perhaps life so fun and exciting then; always looking forward to the next date, wondering what surprises would be there for you?

Using a little imagination; planning little surprises for your love would definitely spice up your love life, going a long way in maintaining the flames of love. I am sure you want an interesting love life, always making your love happy? Remember, when your love is happy, happy you will be.

Hmm? Perhaps a monthly anniversary celebration for a start? A day in each month which both could look forward to an exciting and romantic night together? Oh isn't that lovely? Think about it.

Rick ValensStaff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com/,

Love Relationship Discussion Forum

Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org/, Monument of Eternal Memory

Relationship Problem............?

Relationship Problems... Are You Making These 5 Mistakes

Communication is the most challenging, frustrating, and confusing thing most of us will ever do. Ask any person who is raising a teenager, dealing with a demanding boss, or placating crazy customers on a daily basis.

But at the same time, when communication does work, when you really connect and create a new level of compassion and understanding with someone, it can be the most rewarding, heart-opening, and make-your-life-worth-living experience you've ever had.

I was once told that the natural outcome of most communication… sadly… is misunderstanding, and, after twenty years of studying the field, I think this is more fact than fiction.

If you are raising kids, or have gone through a divorce or even just have parents, I probably don't need to remind you that to create the relationship of your dreams you need every possible skill, tip, tool and technique available. I wish someone had taught me about these mistakes years and heartbreaks ago, but…

I have discovered most of the 5 relationship communication mistakes the hard way… by making them. And I didn't just make them once, but over and over and over and… Well, you get the point. Sometimes it can take a while to see what's right in front of you. So, read on. You needn't make the same mistakes I've made.

The first heart-breaking mistake is… Building a Case against somebody by gathering evidence and showing examples. We think that if we just prove our point, show them how smart and right we are and how wrong they are, then they will surely see our wisdom and embrace us in awe of our insight.

"How's that working for you?"... It doesn't work, it never has worked, and it never will work.In reality, building a case against somebody will only make them more distant. When we show the other person how bad, wrong and stupid they are they'll only want to run from us.

So, what's the alternative? At our "Create Relationship Magic" seminars we teach you a four-step method called The Language of Peace a way to speak compassionately and build connections with people instead of building cases against them.This method focuses on relating to the other person's feelings and needs. It's a way to make sure the other person feels connected—feels that they have been heard and are respected for their feelings, thoughts and needs. Only then is it effective to make a request around your own needs that won't be heard as 'case building.'

So, the first question to ask yourself before you start to speak is, "Do I want to build a case against them , or do I want to build a connection with them?" And then your intent, along with the four steps of the Language of Peace, will guide you in building the connection you want.

Avoiding this one mistake is the most important in keeping my relationship with my beloved as close and intimate as it is. I have to ask myself constantly whether I'm l looking to build a case against him to show him how bad, wrong and stupid it is to leave the wet sponge in the bottom of the sink. Or whether I'd rather build a connection with him by thanking him for washing the dishes and contributing to our cozy home.

There are more mistakes beyond the 5 Relationship Communication mistakes that we discuss in our seminars, teleseminars and MP3s, of course. But you will be amazed how much of a difference understanding and avoiding even this first mistake will make in your life. In my next article I'll discuss mistake number 2, 'Story Telling.'Kristin Denton

10 Cute Love Quotes

10 Cute Love Quotes that Make You Smile

Author: Fion Lim

Is your heart bursting forth with love? Want to shout out to the whole world about how sweet your love is? Cute love quotes will help you to express loving thoughts about love, and as well as make you laugh with hilarity.

Whether you've just fallen head over heels in love, at the beginning stage of your relationship, or you just want to bask in the joy of your love, let these cute love quotes reflect your romantic and humorous side.

Let Cute Love Quotes give you something funny to smile about. Share these quotes with your family and friends so that they have something to smile about too.

There's many ways to bring joy and fun to your love relationship. Sending a bouquet of roses with a loving message when your lover is feeling down is romantic. Sending a love poem or writing one yourself is a hugely romantic gesture. Writing a wonderful love letter works also. Using a thesaurus and picking out descriptive words to describe the best sides of your sweetheart work amazingly well too.

Another method is to use cute love quotes in your Valentine's Day cards, emails and messages to bring a certain playful tone into your relationship. Make your girlfriend or boyfriend feel loved and cherished.

Add a dash of romance with these quotes and simply let the warmth of cute love quotes envelope you.

List of 10 Best Cute Love Quotes

1) "Other men have seen angels, But I have seen thee, And thou art enough." - G. Moore

2)"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." - Regina 'Age 10'

3) "I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox." - Woody Allen

4) "A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." - Ingrid Bergman

5) "I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up." - Barbara Bush

6) "Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein

7) "We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack." - Marie E. Eschenbach

8) "Women are made to be loved, not understood." - Oscar Wilde

9) "At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." - Plato

10) "Love is like an hour glass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." - Jules Renord

About the Author:Fion Lim writes for Great Inspirational Quotes. For more cute love quotes, please visit Cute Love Quotes.

History Of Valentines' Day

History Of Valentine's day

Learn about how Valentines day came into practice as it is today. The origin of this lovers day goes back to as early as 270 A.D from when the history of this day begins. Just read on and discover the true meaning of this festival.

As early as the fourth century B.C., the Romans engaged in an annual young man's rite to passage to the God Lupercus. The names of the teenage women were placed in a box and drawn at random by adolescent men; thus, a man was assigned a woman companion for the duration of the year, after which another lottery was staged. After eight hundred years of this cruel practice, the early church fathers sought to end this practice... They found an answer in Valentine, a bishop who had been martyred some two hundred years earlier.

According to church tradition St. Valentine was a priest near Rome in about the year 270 A.D. At that time the Roman Emperor Claudius-II who had issued an edict forbidding marriage.
This was around when the heyday of Roman empire had almost come to an end. Lack of quality administrators led to frequent civil strife. Learning declined, taxation increased, and trade slumped to a low, precarious level. And the Gauls, Slavs, Huns, Turks and Mongolians from Northern Europe and Asian increased their pressure on the empire's boundaries. The empire was grown too large to be shielded from external aggression and internal chaos with existing forces. Thus more of capable men were required to be recruited as soldiers and officers. When Claudius became the emperor, he felt that married men were more emotionally attached to their families, and thus, will not make good soldiers. So to assure quality soldiers, he banned marriage.

Valentine, a bishop , seeing the trauma of young lovers, met them in a secret place, and joined them in the sacrament of matrimony. Claudius learned of this "friend of lovers," and had him arrested. The emperor, impressed with the young priest's dignity and conviction, attempted to convert him to the roman gods, to save him from certain execution. Valentine refused to recognize Roman Gods and even attempted to convert the emperor, knowing the consequences fully.
On February 24, 270, Valentine was executed.

While Valentine was in prison awaiting his fate, he came in contact with his jailor, Asterius. The jailor had a blind daughter. Asterius requested him to heal his daughter. Through his faith he miraculously restored the sight of Asterius' daughter. Just before his execution, he asked for a pen and paper from his jailor, and signed a farewell message to her "From Your Valentine," a phrase that lived ever after.


Valentine thus become a Patron Saint, and spiritual overseer of an annual festival. The festival involved young Romans offering women they admired, and wished to court, handwritten greetings of affection on February 14. The greeting cards acquired St.Valentine's name.

The Valentine's Day card spread with Christianity, and is now celebrated all over the world. One of the earliest card was sent in 1415 by Charles, duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was a prisoner in the Tower of London. The card is now preserved in the British Museum.

Romantic Love Notes # 3

COLLECTION OF ROMANTIC LOVE NOTES # 3

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 45

If I get takot, would you hawak me tight? If I gawa something mali, would you make it right? If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame? If I sabi I miss u, would you ramdam the same?

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 46

Do you take me to be your lawfully wedded text mate, in sickness or in health, through metering or not, till low bat do us part?

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 47

Someone once asked me, "Have you ever fallen in love?" Then I answered, "Of course, once." Then they asked me another question: "Did it hurt?" I thought of you and told them "Yes, very much".

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 48

You must be a thief coz you stole my heart. You must be tired coz you're always running through my mind. And maybe I'm a bad shooter coz I keep missing you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 49

If someone would ask me what a beautiful life means, I would lean my head on your shoulder and hold you close to me and answer with a smile: "Like this!"

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 50

Life may sometimes be a rough road to walk on where everything seems wrong. But don't give up. Just go on coz when you think you're all alone, look back and you'll find me walking along.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 51

True love is hard to find, special one, one of a kind. I know because it appeared to me on a strange day I met you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 52

I've been wondering why you're not texting... Multiple Choice: a. busy b. dedma c. tired d. thrifty e. want me to miss you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 53

While you gave her flowers, you gave me thorns. While all she did was smile, all I did is mourn. While she was so happy, I felt so blue. Because while you loved her, I was loving you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 54

An angel asked me a reason why I care for you so much. I told her I care for you so much coz there's no reason not to.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 55

If love is a disease then I'm very ill. But I would not want medicine and won't take any pill. I would instead suffer this illness and be bedridden with joy of knowing you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 56

I used to think that the world is so unfair, that it gave me so many reasons to hate it. But now, how can I hate such a wonderful world that gave me you?

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 57

Can I say I love you today? If not, can I ask you again tomorrow? And the day after tomorrow? And the day after that? Coz I'll be loving you every single day of my life.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 58

You greeted me hi, I didn't reply. You gave me a sweet smile, I responded with a sigh. You showed me your love, you received a shrug. But when you bid goodbye I began to cry.

Romantic Love Notes # 2

COLLECTION OF ROMANTIC LOVE NOTES # 2

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 23

If you're feeling lonely and you think there is
nobody there to love, support, listen or show they
care, just save this message and every time you
realize it, it will remind you that a part of me is
always there with you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 24

Roses are red, violets are blue. I am waiting to hear
from a cute guy like you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 25

Do you know that men and women are angels created
with only one wing? And they need to embrace each
other to be able to fly... Hope you can find your
angel whom you can fly with forever.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 26

If I get takot, would you hawak me tight? If I gawa
something mali, would you make it right? If I build an
apoy, would you bantay the flame? If I sabi I miss u,
would you ramdam the same?

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 27

Hatred infects the mind; love dissolves it. You
dissolve my mind.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 28

Don't say you love me unless you really mean it cause
I might do something crazy like believe it.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 29

I'm sorry to be smiling every time you're near. I'm
sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you're here. I'm sorry
that cupid has made his hit. I'm sorry I love you, I
can't help it.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 30

Text me when you are sad, text me when you need
someone to listen to and you can't find anyone who
will. I don't care if I'm your last option, I just
don't want you to cry alone.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 31

If love can be avoided simply by closing our eyes, I
wouldn't blink at all for I don't want to let a second
pass having fallen out of love with you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 32

I wish one day you will miss me terribly that no
matter how hard you look for me, you won't find me.
Why? Because, I want you to miss me the way I'm
missing you right now.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 33

If I could be any letter in the alphabet, I'd choose
"V" so I can be next to "U"; if you could be any note,
I wish you're "RE" so your always beside "ME"!

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 34

Every part of me wants you, maybe because I was made
just for you!

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 35

When you love someone, draw a circle around their
name instead of a heart coz hearts can be broken but
circles never end.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 36

If you were a wound inside my heart, I'd rather leave
it there with all the pain locked inside than leave it
without a trace of you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 37

They can recycle paper till it's as good as new,
reproduce cans and jars and old bottles too, but they
can never recycle another person as wonderful as you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 38

I hate when you smile at me because you make me crazy
about you. I hate when you talk to me because you make
me run out of words. I hate you when I see you because
you make me love you more.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 39

What good is beauty without brains, looks without
charm, money without happiness, a smile without
feelings, a life without you?

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 40

Someone asked what makes people happy. Some said
wealth and some said fame. I was thinking about this
when my cell phone beeped and received a text from
you. Then, I smiled and said: "This makes me happy."

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 41

It was a simple crush, done and over with, then you
looked at me.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 42

Love is something special, a treasure I want to
find... To others, love is blind but for me, its not
true, coz when I fell in love...I saw you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 43

I'll lend you my shoulder for you to cry on, my ears
to listen to, my hand for you to hold, my feet to walk
with you, but I can't lend you my heart coz it already
belongs to you.

ROMANTIC LOVE NOTE # 44

Why do birds fall from the sky every time you walk
by? Maybe because like me they want to be near you!